“Natural hair is not for everybody.” – Derek J.
Six words heard around the world – okay, Twitter - 2 weeks ago on an episode of Fashion Queens and caused an uproar on behalf of many black women. For those unaware, Derek J. is an Atlanta hairstylist known to The Real Housewives of Atlanta viewers after appearing on more than a few episodes over the years. Derek’s response was the result of being asked about his feelings toward the natural hair movement.
Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. I had no idea that something which grows atop your head isn’t for you. BUT, might I add, I DO think some naturals unmistakably give natural hair a bad name.
I have always been about my hair. ALWAYS! I have memories of a 9 year old me chasing some little boy with a stick because he playfully pulled my hair. I ran after him as fast as I could, saying “I’m going to beat you because you messed up my hair.” I also hold recollections of my freshman year in college when I got tipsy – okay, I was drunk - for the first time and my roommate helped wash my face (no matter what time it is or how much I’m under the influence, I must wash my face). As she washed my face, I yelled, “Don’t get my hair wet!”
As a black woman in America, I like being presentable from my hair all the way down to my shoes. Whether I had a curl, relaxed or non-relaxed hair, my hair looked nice and healthy. Three years ago, I decided to go natural on a whim. There were no thoughts of wanting to find myself or having been brainwashed into believing kinky hair to be anything but presentable. You know - things in which natural hair Nazis often say. I, simply wanted to see what my hair could do without a relaxer.
My first impression of natural hair came from my cousin and, let me just say, it was not good. I would take one look at her agitated hair and be like “oh, hell nawl.” It was dry to the bone and hardly ever done as she pulled it back in a head bead. Needless to say, it always looked terrible. She was one of the ones who give natural hair a bad name. If asking, I believe that people like my cousin are exactly who people have in mind while insisting natural hair is not for everyone. Like her, some natural hair wearers do not maintain a neat head of hair.
Just because you are natural, it does not mean you don’t have to comb your hair. Dry, thirsty hair is
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| Me, rocking a puff |
never cute. Knotted hair is never cute. When I see people in public with lumpy and matted hair, it irks my nerves. It’s almost as if the woman’s hair is crying out for some moisturizer! And it’s relatively easy to add moisture. I will never understand why some women think it’s perfectly fine to walk out of the house with a flat-on-one-side ‘fro, looking like a mangled up lion. Is that what’s hot in these streets? Allow me to share three hair rules in particular, if I may:
Rule Number One: Natural hair does not mean unkempt hair. There’s quite a difference between unkempt hair and an unkempt look/style (Solange pulls this off perfectly).
Rule Number Two: Natural hair does not mean skipping the salon. If you don’t know what you are doing, there is no shame with going to a stylist who does natural hair. Don’t walk around looking like a mangled up lion.
Rule Number Three: All hair should be pampered.
Lastly, whether relaxed or non-relaxed, maintaining healthy hair requires work. Some people honestly believe they can just slap a perm in their hair and call it a day. Do you know how many relaxed women I’ve noticed with dead, stringy, thin looking hair? That perm may be doing more damage than good if you don’t take proper care of your hair. You can have healthy hair with or without a perm, but you must take care of it. And having length means nothing if it is damaged. Case in point, today a Facebook friend who has a relaxed, shoulder-length hair posted a pic of her hair saying “black girls can have long hair.” Afterward, someone commented “but I can see your scalp.” True. She had length, yet her hair appeared thin, dead looking, and the ends were extremely damaged. Relaxers can cause a SHITLOAD of damage and breakage if not careful.
Ladies, let’s take good care of our hair and make people like Derek J. eat his words.
**Will probably wash my hair Sunday to bring back my kinks. But in the meantime, I braided it last night to create a wet and wavy look. It turned out cute if I say so myself**
